playlist: thalia zedek band - julie said (six ep) fennesz w/ david sylvian - transit (venice) broadcast - echo’s answer (the noise made by people) nadja - lidérc (queller) tara jane o’neil - glow now (where shine new light) raum - blood moon (event of your leaving) wrekmeister harmonies - pittsburg (recordings made in public spaces vol. 1) ben frost - autoclave (fAr) dale cooper quartet & the dictaphones - lampyre bonne chère (quatorze pièces de ménace) leyland kirby - diminishing emotion (breaks my heart each time) nadja - mouths (queller) picastro + nadja - a new soul’s benediction (fool, redeemer) rafael anton irisarri - her rituals (the unintentional sea) bohren & der club of gore - komm zurueck zu mir (piano nights) 200 years - city streets (200 years) thalia zedek band - dreamalie (six ep) bardo pond - heaven ii (without a doubt 7-inch) spiritualized - true love will find you in the end (daniel johnston) (soul on fire) neil young & crazy horse - through my sails (zuma) alan sparhawk - … in the harbor (solo guitar)
"if you walk the galaxies, i would walk the galaxies with you.."
playlist: tara jane o’neil - welcome (where shine new light) spiritualized mississippi space program - always forgetting with you (the bridge song) (space project) maica mia - neH2ble (des era) thalia zedek band - fell so hard (six) roy montgomery - escape velocity (scenes from the south island) tim hecker - stigmata ii (virgins) koen holtkamp - broken circles (10) saffronkeira & mario massa - southnorth (cause and effect) ben frost - enlightenment (hold on to me) (fAr) magik markers - american sphinx face (surrender to the fantasy) t’ien lai - serca miast zatrzymują się (da’at) emeralds - search for me in the wastelands (just to feel anything) bohren & der club of gore - bei rosarotem licht (piano nights) echo beach - hospital (modern lovers/ jonathan richman) (drywall ep) bohren & der club of gore - irrwege (piano nights) stars of the lid - music for twin peaks episode #30 part i (the ballasted orchestra) a winged victory for the sullen - atomos vii (atomos vii) oren ambarchi & robin fox - trios (connected)
There is a secret bond between slowness and memory, between speed and forgetting. Consider this utterly commonplace situation: a man is walking down the street. At a certain moment, he tries to recall something, but the recollection escapes him. Automatically he slows down. Meanwhile, a person who wants to forget a disagreeable
incident he has just lived through starts unconsciously to speed up his pace, as if he were trying to distance himself from a thing still too close to him in time.
In existential mathematics, that experience takes the form of two basic equations: the degree of slowness is directly proportion to the intensity of memory; the degree of speed is directly proportional to the intensity of forgetting.
”—Milan Kundera, from Slowness (HarperCollins, 1996)
“Almost everyone wants to be the lover. And the curt truth is that, in a deep secret way, the state of being beloved is intolerable to many. The beloved fears and hates the lover, and with the best of reasons. For the lover is forever trying to strip bare his beloved. The lover craves any possible relation with the beloved, even if this experience can cause him only pain.”—Carson McCullers, The Ballad of the Sad Café and Other Stories
week of February 13th, 2014: “I have come to be fascinated with the messiness of desire,” writes novelist Ashley Warlick, “with the ways people fit themselves together, take themselves apart for each other, for want of each other, for want of some parts of each other.” Your assignment, Pisces, is to celebrate the messiness of desire; to not just grudgingly accept it as an inconvenience you’ve got to tolerate, but rather to marvel at it, be amused by it, and appreciate it for all the lessons it provides. Your motto this Valentine season could be, “I bless the messy largesse of my longing.”
"Einstein said that time was like a river. it doesn’t move at the same speed everywhere.."
playlist: spacemen 3 - lord can you hear me? (playing with fire) chelsea wolfe - halfsleeper (the grime & the glow) bonnie prince billy - bad man (bonnie prince billy) molina & johnson - wooden heart (molina & johnson) derek rogers - signifying memory (signifying memory) janet cardiff - a large slow river (cardiffmiller.com) bohren und der club of gore - verloren (alles) (piano nights) dale cooper quartet & the dictaphones - ma dressing (parole de navarre) bohren und der club of gore - fahr zur hoelle (piano nights) saffronkeira & mario massa - variazione (cause and effect) ben frost - undulating beast (black marrow) the living jarboe - scorpion (disburden disciple) letha rodman melchior - marsh of sleep (handbook for mortals) grouper - soul eraser (a i a : dream loss) le fruit vert - canto di iemanja (passiflore) labradford - soft return (prazision) mogwai - rollerball (ep +2)
"i could make it all/ all the twisted sand and foam/ i’ll never ever return.."
labradford - wr (mi medja naranja) good stuff house - untitled (good stuff house reissue) le fruit vert - passiflore (passiflore) derek rogers - “either create or destroy in this life…” (born into systems) mark mcguire - inside where it’s warm (a young person’s guide to mark mcguire) saffronkeira & mario massa - the journey (cause and effect) valley of the giants - whaling tale (valley of the giants) circuit des yeux - nova 88 (overdue) tara jane o’neil - wordless in woods (where shine new light) letha rodman melchior - hypatia rilles (handbook for mortals) t’ien lai - tron (da’at) rosy parlane - willow (willow 7-inch) letha rodman melchior - humouresques (handbook for mortals) harold budd - templar (perhaps) patti smith - godspeed (easter reissue) nina nastasia - i say that i will go (run to ruin) chris brokaw - criminals (the boarder’s door) grails - broken ballad (the burden of hope) rangda - sarcophagi (false flag)
playlist: talk talk - myrrhman (laughing stock) rachel’s - expect delays (systems/ layers) kyle bobby dunn - mon retard (kyle bobby dunn and the infinite sadness) godspeed you! black emperor - we drift like worried fire (allelujah! don’t bend! ascend!) circuit des yeux - acarina (overdue) nicolas wiese/ mise en scene - the sneaking towards the nucleus accumbens (introjection) smokey emery - movement vii (a craft in control) (quartz ep) saffronkeira + mario massa - pity (cause and effect) wrekmeister harmonies - you’ve always meant so much to me (you’ve always meant so much to me) sparklehorse - wish you were here (pink floyd) (chest full of dying hawks) songs: ohia - two blue lights (didn’t it rain) letha rodman melchior - send in the clowns (stephen sondheim) (handbook for mortals)
Regret nothing. Not the cruel novels you read to the end just to find out who killed the cook. Not the insipid movies that made you cry in the dark, in spite of your intelligence, your sophistication.
Not the lover you left quivering in a hotel parking lot, the one you beat to the punchline, the door, or the one who left you in your red dress and shoes, the ones that crimped your toes, don’t regret those.
Not the nights you called god names and cursed your mother, sunk like a dog in the living-room couch, chewing your nails and crushed by loneliness.
You were meant to inhale those smoky nights over a bottle of flat beer, to sweep stuck onion rings across the dirty restaurant floor, to wear the frayed coat with its loose buttons, its pockets full of struck matches.
You’ve walked those streets a thousand times and still you end up here. Regret none of it, not one of the wasted days you wanted to know nothing, when the lights from the carnival rides were the only stars you believed in, loving them for their uselessness, not wanting to be saved.
You’ve traveled this far on the back of every mistake, ridden in dark-eyed and morose but calm as a house after the TV set has been pitched out the upstairs window. Harmless as a broken ax. Emptied of expectation.
Don’t bother remembering any of it.
Let’s stop here, under the lit sign on the corner, and watch all the people walk by.