“For years mental health professionals taught people that they could be psychologically healthy without social support, that “unless you love yourself, no one else will love you.”…The truth is, you cannot love yourself unless you have been loved and are loved. The capacity to love cannot be built in isolation”—Bruce D. Perry, M.D., Ph.D. — “The Boy Who Was Raised As A Dog” (via clothedinsky)
"still getting lost inside as soon as we look around.."
playlist: thalia zedek band - want you to know (via) townes van zandt - lungs (townes van zandt) tim hecker - hatred of music II (ravedeath 1972) visitor - skin warmth (visitor) chelsea wolfe - reins (pain is beauty) silent land time machine - even floating islands fall (i am no longer alone with myself and can only artificially recall..) rafael anton irisarri - daybreak comes soon (the unintentional sea) painted caves - loft life (surveillance) the for carnation - preparing to receive you (marshmallows) rothko - watch the black sun fade (eleven stages of intervention) songs: ohia - how to be perfect men (axxess and ace) richard buckner - go (surrounded) ry cooder w/ harry dean stanton and nastassia kinski - i knew these people (paris, texas ost) patti smith - beneath the southern cross (gone again) six organs of admittance - visions from IO (ascent) alan sparhawk - how the engine room sounds (solo guitar) pelt - antipodes (burning/ filament/ rockets) lumbers - fading off (sometimes everything collapses) bardo pond - game five and a half (peri) chris brokaw - california (gambler’s ecstasy)
two notes: podomatic is a bit, uhh, vacant at the moment due to annual fees needing to paid.. i hope to deal with that shortly. also, episode #233 will only be broadcast next week, december 1st, as i’m eyeball-deep this week in final exams & essays, and freaking right the beep out. (it ain’t easy being a well-time-managed student at crunch time, even when the student is supposedly mature!) so, until then, my friends..
"stardust is yellow and red and it’s mapping out of time inside her head…"
playlist: swans - inside madeline (my father will guide me up a rope to the sky) grails - the march (the burden of hope) barn owl - ancestral star (ancestral star) six organs of admittance - black wall (the sun awakens) ben frost - killshot (by the throat) le fruit vert - side b (passiflore) derek rogers - unknown xylophone (demos 2013) lumbers - long night (https://soundcloud.com/lumbers) beans - lasa-ma in pace (crane wars) le fruit vert - side a (passiflore) komodo haunts - fruit bribe (dance on the serpent’s neck) twine - asa nisi masa (twine) les beyond- two seasons (split c20 with SubH) the for carnation - winter lair (marshmallows ep) alasdair roberts - erie canal (thomas s. allen) (weary engine blues) scout niblett - could this possibly be? (it’s up to emma)
playlist: the velvet underground - pale blue eyes (the velvet underground) talk talk - after the flood (laughing stock) talk talk - taphead (laughing stock) chelsea wolfe - sick (pain is beauty) evangelista - the slayer (prince of truth) swans - helpless child (soundtracks for the blind) jason molina - don’t it look like rain (let me go let me go let me go) pete fosco - hoffner synthesis (altar of dusk) sonic youth - hallowe’en (bad moon rising reissue) gate - under the water (moths) bardo pond - side to side (yntra) spacemen 3 - 2:35 (feedback version) (taking drugs to make music to take drugs to) the velvet underground - ocean (VU) the velvet underground - rock & roll (loaded)
thank you Lou Reed, Marcia Wallace, Deborah Turbeville, and Anthony Caro
(no new episode this week due to crushing deadline on an essay involving critical & genre theory (or is it audience reception theory?! ), Theodor Adorno (& possibly Allan Moore), listening to difficult/ avant garde music, and “body genres, ‘bad’ music, and the judgment of audiences”. wish me luck, i’m in a bit over my head.. and despite yet another imminent evil deadline, i hopehopehope to have a new episode for you next week!)
"i was pulled right out of the sea/ and the salt - it never left my body.."
playlist: sparklehorse & fennesz - mark’s guitar piece (in the fishtank #15) derek rogers - i shall be rereleased (demo 2013) yes blythe - at labyrinth borne sun (initiate screen prevails) tren brothers - kit’s choice (blue trees/ 7-inch) jasper tx - rivers flow (an index of failure) six organs of admittance - ursa minor (luminous night) flying saucer attack - since when pt 4 (harmony of the spheres) bardo pond - silver pavilion (peri) chelsea wolfe - they’ll clap when you’re gone (pain is beauty) scout niblett - no scrubs (tlc) (it’s up to emma) grails - in the beginning (the burden of hope) loscil - endless falls (reprise) (intervalo) loscil - endless falls (intervalo) jason molina - song of the road (pyramid electric co) aidan baker w/ liz hysen - ice (already drowning) thalia zedek - hell is in hello (trust not in those whom without some touch of madness) gil scott heron - i’ll take care of you (brook benton) (i’m new here) vic chesnutt - rattle (north star deserter)
"we can look upon the dark sky of day and say i never was who i seemed to be.."
playlist: bardo pond - chance (peace on venus) chelsea wolfe - we hit a wall (pain is beauty) ben frost - last exit to brooklyn (steel wound) graham lambkin & jason lescalleet - ct120 1ps/ rinsing through the shingles (photographs) ben frost - familia II (black marrow) evangelista - hello, voyager! (hello, voyager!) bohren & der club of gore - welten (dolores) interbellum - he looked beyond my faults (and saw my need) (this was an important place in their lives) ben frost - familia I (black marrow) bardo pond - before the moon (peace on venus) magik markers - ice skater (ice skater/ machines 7-inch) chelsea wolfe - lone (pain is beauty) richard buckner - cut (surrounded) bardo pond - kali yuga blues (peace on venus) white hills - the internal monologue (so you are.. so you’ll be) cut hands - madwoman (madwoman ep) alice coltrane - mantra (ptah the el daoud)
"we came from a hill where all we could see was the routes and the eyes that were all closed to me.."
playlist: carla bozulich - nels’ box (evangelista) pete fosco - austinburg river raag (altar of dusk) labradford - up to pizmo (fixed::context) grouper - vanishing point (the man who died in his boat) interbellum - some rather poor advice (this was an important place in their lives) lee noble - ghost of stucture (horrorism) low - embrace (things we lost in the fire) gowns - mercy springs (red state) the dead c - helen said this (vain, erudite & stupid) graham lambkin & jason lescalleet - street cleaner (photographs) scout niblett - all night long (it’s up to emma) carlton melton - slow growth (split ep w/ bardo pond) chelsea wolfe - bounce house demons (the grime and the glow) alan licht - four years earlier (four years older) renderers - out of the forest (a dream of the sea) bonnie prince billy - i heard of a source (bonnie prince billy)
"moving on just to take the time to begin somewhere within.."
playlist: scout niblett - what can i do? (it’s up to emma) richard buckner - confession (our blood) interbellum - i wish you hadn’t done that richard (this was an important place in their lives) antony & the johnsons - hope mountain (another world ep) chelsea wolfe - halfsleeper (the grime & the glow) aaron martin - slow wake (day has ended) mirroring - mine (foreign body) grails - canyon hymn (the burden of hope) interbellum - cayo costa (this was an important place in their lives) grails - white flag (the burden of hope) aaron martin - comfort of shadow (day has ended) bardo pond - maggot brain (funkadelic) (rise above it all) ben frost - undulating beast (black marrow) latin playboys - pink steps (latin playboys) richard buckner - mood (surrounded) scout niblett - can’t fool me now (it’s up to emma)
"right now you got your life in your hands/ you spent your simple days counting them down.."
playlist: scout niblett - my man (it’s up to emma) mazzy star - flying low (seasons of your day) chelsea wolfe - deep talks (the grime & the glow) the dead c - head (vain, erudite and stupid) ben frost - the lake (black marrow) grails - almost grew my hair (deep politics) arthur russell - another thought (another thought) gate - millions (the dew line) ben frost - metal on skin (black marrow) derek rogers - below three (signifying memory) gate - side a (gate/ tom carter split single) derek rogers - ivar (things are different now) scout niblett - gun (it’s up to emma) richard buckner - fater (monsoon version) (since - live promo) the dead c - waves (secret earth) r. lee dockery - drop (legends of l.a.) the dead c - constellation (harsh 70’s reality) richard buckner - candy-o (the cars) (willow 7-inch/ bonus track) windsor for the derby - moon shadows (against love) bardo pond - moonshine (ticket crystals)
my pal Derek Rogers found enough inspiration in my darkness & soundwalk/ field recordings to make a few beautiful tracks for a Portuguese label that hand-builds wooden cases & designs insane graphics for each cassette that they release. sooo psyched!!!!!
"and in the dream I, myself, could run/ and I feel the ground beneath my feet.."
playlist: mazzy star - spoon (seasons of your day) bonnie prince billy - bad man (bonnie prince billy) john parish & polly jean harvey - rope bridge crossing (dance hall at louse point) scout niblett - duke of anxiety (swearing at motorists) (the calcination of scout niblett) barn owl - blood echo (v) derek rogers - don’t stop bereaving (don’t stop bereaving) dirty three - sirena (ocean songs) boxhead ensemble - coastal boarder (the last place to go) chelsea wolfe - flatlands (unknown rooms) ben frost - carbon vessel motherfucker (black marrow) good stuff house - untitled (good stuff house cd-r reissue) bonnie prince billy - i will be born again (bonnie prince billy) ben frost - a crude awakening (black marrow) michael rice - what we found at the bottom of the well (the endless tour) labradford - everlast (prazision) maica mia - don’t let call (sparcity blues) movietone - alkaline eye (first album reissue) the dead c - armed (armed courage) oren ambarchi & robin fox - standing mandala (connected) rachel’s - reflective surfaces (systems/ layers)